Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Advancements In Modern Music Through Single Rhyme Pairings

Every now and then a single rhyme pairing becomes the proverbial musical fulcrum beneath the giant lever that is popular culture, catapulting the music into unforeseen heights. And annoying journalistic endeavors. These rhyme pairings transcend the lyrics and artists themselves to become genre defining moments. They are the most important things to happen in music. Ever. E.V.E.R.

Country Rock
Rhyme Pairing: "Baby" with "Maybe"
Advancement: Gene Autry, George Jones, giant bee-hive hair do's.

British Rock
Rhyme Pairing: "Do" with "You"
Advancement: The Beatles "Love Me Do" and "From Me To You," The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin.

Heroin Rock
Rhyme Pairing: "Heroin" with "Friend"
Advancement: Annoying New York art scenes, The Velvet Underground, Andy Warhol.

Jazz
Rhyme Pairing: "Dismiss" with "Kiss"
Advancement: Chet Baker, Louis Armstrong, advent of Big Band, and the taking of heroin for creative advancement (see Heroin Rock).

Big Band
Rhyme Pairing: "Baby" with "Maybe" (see Country Rock)
Advancements: Sinatra, Davis Jr., Martin, Las Vegas, The Mafia, drunk performance.

Rap
Rhyme Pairing: "Elementary" with "Penitentiary"
Advancement: None really.

Grunge Rock
Rhyme Pairing: "A Mosquito" with "My Libido"
Advancement: The entire 90's.

Glam Rock
Rhyme Pairing: "Party" with "Party"
Advancement: Los Angeles, hair, strip club attendance, alcohol sales, venereal disease.